Networking Etiquette

Dear all,

I am something of a natural networker (minus my teenage years when I was a loner/introvert). I always have business cards (I had them in college, after college, graduate school, etc). I like to connect people to each other. I like to edit resumes. I have plenty of friends (in real life and on Facebook).

So, when it came time to look for a job after graduate school, I felt confident. I started early, I applied for jobs, I networked, I networked in different international cities, I wrote thank you cards, I thought out of the box and, most importantly, I followed through.

I finally had 5 interviews for 5 different jobs this past spring. 3 of those 5 interviews I got through networking. I also got all of my part-time-to-survive jobs from networking. So, I'm a pretty big fan of networking.

I am happy to help people when they contact me for ideas, and connect them to people who are in the field/position/sector/whatever they need. What I am NOT happy about, is when I put my own contacts out there (introduce person A to person B) and the person who wanted help, doesn't follow through.

I feel like that person is not only wasting my time, but hurting my network. My reputation in my network is a big part of the success of that network. So, if Person A flakes out on Person B, that reflects poorly on me.

So, if someone goes out of their way to help you, you should:
a) thank them and
b) don't waste their time.

If they introduce you to someone, even if you don't want to talk to that someone, write a polite note (including Person B!!), saying hello and explaining that, upon further thought, you want to pursue something else and thank you for your time.

I have had dozens of experiences where I introduce two people, and the person that wanted the introduction doesn't even reply for weeks or months. It drives me crazy.

If you ask someone for help and they give it to you, it's a slap in the face if you don't follow-through. Don't waste people's time if you're not going to do the work.

Thanks for listening!
Alena

The Oga Syndrome

Dear Readers,

If you've been to Nigeria, you've heard the term "Oga" it means 'Master' or 'boss' or can be a term of respect for someone older/of higher status than you.

Status is very important in Nigeria. I've seen countless interactions, where both parties are sizing the other up. I know Nigerians don't like likenesses to animals, but it strikes me as very animalistic.

An Oga is generally someone who has some kind of high status. However, you're usually an oga if you have a staff, have some money, or are perceived as having some money.

'Who is your Oga?' is sort of like 'Who is your Godfather' or 'Who controls you?'

With all hierarchical power structures there is abuse. This is very apparent in Nigeria. People fight their whole life, suffer lots of abuse, to become an oga. Then all that accumulated bitterness comes out in abusing your staff/whomever crosses your path.

Oga Syndrome: when you take this Master/Slave dynamic too seriously and forget to treat all people with respect.

A great article: Oga (Master) Syndrome

Now, I've become a mini-oga (I have an office, a staff, drivers, security, etc). I think my record is having the same staff member ask me for money 6 times in 6 different ways on the same day. I say 'no' politely each time. I can tell that it can get pretty annoying. I think MY 'ogas' (bosses) like me specifically because I don't ask them for money.

What makes a 'good' Oga?

Have you been accused of Oga syndrome?

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this piece.

Best,
Alena